🔗 Share this article

Encountering rejection, notably when it occurs frequently, is not a great feeling. A publisher is saying no, delivering a clear “Not interested.” Being an author, I am well acquainted with rejection. I began proposing story ideas half a century past, just after completing my studies. Over the years, I have had multiple books turned down, along with article pitches and numerous short stories. In the last two decades, focusing on op-eds, the denials have grown more frequent. Regularly, I receive a rejection every few days—totaling more than 100 times a year. Cumulatively, denials in my profession number in the thousands. Today, I could have a PhD in handling no’s.

However, does this seem like a complaining rant? Not at all. Because, at last, at seven decades plus three, I have come to terms with being turned down.

By What Means Did I Achieve This?

For perspective: Now, nearly each individual and others has said no. I haven’t counted my win-lose ratio—it would be quite demoralizing.

For example: lately, a publication rejected 20 articles consecutively before accepting one. Back in 2016, no fewer than 50 editors declined my book idea before someone approved it. Later on, 25 representatives rejected a project. One editor requested that I submit potential guest essays less often.

My Seven Stages of Setback

When I was younger, each denial stung. I felt attacked. It seemed like my writing was being turned down, but me as a person.

As soon as a piece was turned down, I would start the “seven stages of rejection”:

• Initially, shock. Why did this occur? Why would these people be blind to my skill?
• Next, denial. Surely you’ve rejected the mistake? This must be an administrative error.
• Then, rejection of the rejection. What do they know? Who made you to decide on my efforts? It’s nonsense and your publication is subpar. I refuse this refusal.
• After that, anger at the rejecters, followed by frustration with me. Why do I subject myself to this? Could I be a masochist?
• Subsequently, bargaining (preferably mixed with optimism). What will it take you to acknowledge me as a unique writer?
• Sixth, despair. I lack skill. Additionally, I can never become accomplished.

This continued over many years.

Notable Company

Naturally, I was in fine fellowship. Tales of authors whose books was originally rejected are numerous. Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick. The creator of Frankenstein. The writer of Dubliners. Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. The author of Catch-22. Nearly each famous writer was initially spurned. If they could succeed despite no’s, then possibly I could, too. Michael Jordan was dropped from his youth squad. The majority of Presidents over the last 60 years had earlier failed in campaigns. The filmmaker says that his script for Rocky and attempt to star were rejected repeatedly. He said rejection as an alarm to rouse me and persevere, rather than retreat,” he remarked.

The Final Phase

Then, as I reached my later years, I achieved the last step of setback. Peace. Currently, I grasp the multiple factors why someone says no. To begin with, an reviewer may have already featured a like work, or be planning one underway, or be considering a similar topic for another contributor.

Alternatively, more discouragingly, my pitch is uninteresting. Or maybe the reader feels I don’t have the experience or stature to fit the bill. Perhaps is no longer in the field for the work I am offering. Or was too distracted and read my submission too quickly to appreciate its value.

You can call it an epiphany. Anything can be declined, and for any reason, and there is almost nothing you can do about it. Certain reasons for denial are forever beyond your control.

Manageable Factors

Additional reasons are within it. Admittedly, my ideas and work may occasionally be poorly thought out. They may not resonate and impact, or the point I am struggling to articulate is not compelling enough. Or I’m being flagrantly unoriginal. Maybe something about my punctuation, particularly dashes, was annoying.

The key is that, in spite of all my long career and setbacks, I have managed to get recognized. I’ve authored several titles—the initial one when I was 51, another, a personal story, at retirement age—and in excess of 1,000 articles. My writings have appeared in publications big and little, in local, national and global outlets. An early piece was published decades ago—and I have now submitted to various outlets for 50 years.

Yet, no bestsellers, no signings publicly, no appearances on popular shows, no presentations, no book awards, no big awards, no Nobel, and no medal. But I can more easily handle rejection at 73, because my, humble achievements have cushioned the stings of my setbacks. I can afford to be thoughtful about it all now.

Instructive Setbacks

Rejection can be educational, but only if you heed what it’s indicating. Otherwise, you will almost certainly just keep interpreting no’s incorrectly. What teachings have I learned?

{Here’s my advice|My recommendations|What